This used to be a page on my Swindleeeee! blog about eMusic; I subsequently moved it over as a page on my main personal blog when I merged the contents of Swindleeeee! into that blog. As part of a cleanup of my main blog I’m now moving it to be a regular blog post, in order to preserve it for posterity.

Ever since its founding eMusic has been repeatedly discovered by people who either don’t get the concept (“Hey, where’s Britney Spears?!”) and/or have severe difficulty using a computer and the Internet; these people also often seem to have a fuzzy grasp on such matters as grammar and spelling. And thus on August 11, 2003 (a date which will live in infamy), after experiencing problems with downloading music mrcat first uttered those immortal words, “E Music is SWindle.”

Despite the helpful replies of various eMusic customers mrcat’s problems continued unabated, and he soon resorted to repetition to add urgency to his pleas: “I still Cannot Download Music, WHYYYYY???? . . . Bring BAck my Money,E Music is SWindle. Bring Back my moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.” After a final message from mrcat (“Emusic Swindle, just swindle. I am not happpyyyyy.”), Buddha-Of-Siberia was moved to reply, “hey who cries swindleeeeee. . . . . . Stop Your Subscription and log out. . . and stay outeeeeee.” And thus a new word entered the world, and every subsequent user complaint or pseudo-complaint regarding eMusic was heralded with the ironic cry “eMusic is swindleeeee!!!!!!”

The Swindleeeee!!!!! FAQ

I just know you still have some questions . . .

  • How do you pronounce “swindleeeee”? Like the question of which end to open an egg or whether the sign of the cross should be made with two fingers or three, this is a matter of bitter controversy; wars have been fought over less. Some (including myself) believe that it should be pronounced like “swindle,” but prolonging the final ‘l’ sound: “swin-duhhhhhl.” Others believe that it should be pronounced it as “swind-leeeee,” i.e., converting the normally silent ‘e’ into a long ‘e’ on the second syllable. Still others compromise on a hybrid pronounciation: “swin-duh-leeeee.” Feel free to choose whichever side you please, but be prepared to accept the consequences. For more information check out the eMusic message board thread “Poll - do you prefer SwindULLLLL or SwindLEEEEE?.”
  • How many ‘e’s are in “swindleeeee”? This varies from person to person. As noted above, the original coinage had six ‘e’s, but in my opinion five are sufficient to get the point across, unless you happen to be feeling especially feisty.
  • How many exclamation points should I use? In general I think it’s good practice to have as many exclamation points as there are ‘e’s.
  • Can I use “swindleeeee!!!!!” in referring to digital music services other than eMusic? Yes, but know that the correct use of the term is in the ironic sense (real irony, that is, not the Alanis Morissette kind#Linguistic_controversy “Alanis Morissette misuses the term “ironic””)); thus you should not use the term with respect to a competing service unless you feel that it is not in fact a swindle.